Air Mail
Welcome to Air Mail 2.0!
Here at the Lost Post Office, transporting post by air has a long and honourable history. In the early days of aviation, our brave pilots risked life and limb to see letters delivered at top speed, flying the most technologically-advanced machines of their time.
We continue this tradition today, with highly-advanced technologies integrated at every level of the storage and delivery process. In the recent past we've pioneered postal services using intergalactic starships and deep-earth drilling machines (Why? Because THE FUTURE) and this year we've introduced a whole new suite of un-bee-lievable innovations that will push productivity UP, UP, UP!
But wait! Couldn't we use these innovations to improve conditions for our workers? Allowing them to achieve twice the work with half the effort?
Well that's exactly the kind of beta-drone hive-mindset we reject here at Air Mail 2.0.
Our tech-enhanced work environment is strictly for workers with a Q.B.M. – that's a QUEEN BEE MINDSET. We work TWICE as hard to deliver FOUR TIMES the productivity in AN EIGHTH of the time, and if you can't handle that, then maybe you don't have what it takes to to fly with the big dogs!
We are also pleased to announce that Head of Department Richard Redwing has been promoted to a newly-created position: Head of Bee-Integrated Systems! (In an unprecedented move, Richard has retained his previous job as Head of Department! Wow! Two jobs? We must be living in the future!)
Yes, the future is looking sunny and bright for our historic Air Mail Department.
And never forget our department motto:
MIND ON THE GRIND. AIR MAIL FOREVER
Now We offer 8 delivery speeds for are air mail service ,
Delivery speeds | Price |
---|---|
Owl Mail | £2.30 |
White-Rumped Swift Mail | £13.40 |
Eurasian Hobby Mail | £24.50 |
Gyrfalcon Mail | £35.60 |
Golden Eagle Mail | £46.70 |
Peregrine Falcon Mail | £57.80 |
Griffin mail | £168.90 |
Phoenix Mail (please note we are not responsible for any burns or singes caused by Phoenix Mail) | £2790.00 |